In response to This Is Your Song
Really this post should be titled ‘Happy Birthday’ because….IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!! WOOOP, 19 WHOLE YEARS ON EARTH!!
Hence why there’s a dual title.
But the real song that I connect to more than Happy Birthday today is Pink’s ‘Crystal Ball‘.
There are a lot of lines in this song which I can connect to at this point in my life. So excuse me whilst I do a major English geek out and go through the whole song and explain why I love it – sorry, it’s been less than a year and literally everything I read is now looked at with student goggles!
‘Drinking wine and thinking bliss, is on the other side of this
I just need a compass and a willing accomplice
All my doubts that fill my head are skidding up and down again
Up and down and round again, down and up and round again.’
The opening line couldn’t be truer as a student I think. We drink because we think it will make the night better/amazing. We drink wine on dates to seem older and sophisticated and hope that the person we’re sitting across from (probably in Nandos) is ‘the one’.
I love the idea of just wanting to go and do and explore with someone who’s maybe just a friend. It just sounds perfect, like that’s what we’re meant to be doing with our lives.
And we do face doubt all the time, no matter how old we are. We’ll always questions something that we’ve done or want to do, we’ll go back to something we said 5 years ago and think it through again and again. The mind is wonderful but also a little too loud sometimes.
‘Oh, I’ve had my chances and I’ve taken them all.
Just to end up right back here on the floor.
To end up right back here in on the floor.’
I suppose I haven’t taken all of the chances open to me, but that’s because I’m naturally a thinker so sometimes things will just slip out of reach when I’m ready to act. But I’m getting better at that I promise.
‘Sometimes you think everything is wrapped inside a diamond ring
Love just needs a witness and a little forgivness
And a halo of patience and a less sporadic pace and
I’m learning to be brave in my beautiful mistakes.‘
It’s true that for a long time I thought I’d find a guy, get married and that would be my life sorted. But then I grew up. No, well sort of, but I know now that I’m not going to find myself or all of my happiness in another person. You have to find happiness in many things, you can make someone a priority but I don’t think you should make them your entire universe.
And the last line makes so much sense to me, it gives me strength. We’re all going to mess up but there’s something good about that, we can find goodness in these things that we decide are wrong and embarrassing, but there is always good, you just have to look for it.
‘Oh I’ve felt that fire and I’ve been burned
But I wouldn’t trade the pain for what I’ve learned
I wouldn’t trade the pain for what I’ve learned.’
Again, we’ve all felt pain, but we learn, we grow, we move on. We’re made up of the good, bad, ugly and worse and better. We’re just stumbling through the world trying to find ourselves.
I’ve left the chorus out but you can go and listen for yourself.