I swear the part about the books is on its way… but for now enjoy a little diary of my week:
A Week In The Life Of An English Student
Monday: Sleep. Sleep. All of the Sleep. I’m never moving. Ever. My lecturers can come to me.
Although food would be good too… hmm… food… Hang on, did I even go shopping this weekend? Man, I can’t afford to go to the uni shop. I hate being this poor already. Stupid house deposit.
Study session? Really? Do we have to pretend like we’re not just going to sit around talking for a few hours? I mean, last time we didn’t even bring pens. Fine, I’m getting up, let’s gossip.
Night out? But we have a 9am, are you crazy? I know I wanted to last week, Jess, but I honestly can’t deal with a hangover tomorrow… Well yes we are freshers… And this year doesn’t count… Screw it! We’re young, dumb and full of rum!
Tuesday: No one will know I’m hungover, sunglasses are fine on a rainy February morning. I will make it to my 9am. And I will not vomit.
No 12pm lecture? What?? But I’m up and dressed and only sort of dying.
Hang on, why does my leg hurt so much? Did I get a tattoo?
What? How did I do that? How do I even have enough blood to make a bruise that big?! I’m never, ever leaving the house again.
This actually hurts so much. Ouch. And I still have the ones from Guildford. Seriously, what is wrong with drunk me? I want my mum.
Wednesday: Oh wow I’m so prepared for this class, how did this happen?! Boom, I just made that point so damn well, I’m getting a first in this module, I can feel it.
Eh, what? Why are you just repeating what I have LITERALLY JUST SAID?! and I said it better. Honestly. This is now ending up in everyone’s essays. This is why I don’t make points in my class.
Ok, 2 hours seminars are hard… do you guys want to get food? No, not from the uni shop. Like actual food, from a restaurant? Yes, Bex, that does mean you will have to get the bus for £2 but we all told you to get the bus pass at the start of the year. This is your fault. Now, let’s please go and get food.
Ahh mum misses me, better call her later and tell her all about the studying I’ve done and not about the drinking or the fact that I bought a new jacket and shoes.
Ooops. Did not mean to call you at 11pm, sorry mum, must have sat on my phone. Ooops. I forgot some people don’t stay up late. Hopefully she won’t be too mad.
It’s 3am and I’m still reading for next week. I swear I’m stopping in a minute, I have a 9am tomorrow and I can’t sleep through this one.
Thursday: I went to my 9am. My 9am that I have reading week for. I went to a seminar that wasn’t on. Shit. I could have slept in. Everyone is going to laugh when I tell them. Oh well, at least I can go home and do even more reading.
I wonder if anyone has ever died from reading too much… I feel like my brain might explode kinda soon.
Pub? Sure, give me 2minutes to throw some crap in a bag and put shoes on. Oh and I can wear my new jacket, today is such a good day!
Guys we should go home, we’ve been here for 4 hours! Ok, one more drink, but then I really do need to go home.
HEYYY, SORRY WHAT?? MY NAME? WHHATTT? I CAN’T HEAR, THE MUSICS TOO LOUD! OUTSIDE… ERRR OK, SURE.
Friday: Whose number is this on my hand? Oh, please, what did I do last night? JESS, WHAT DID YOU MAKE ME DO? Oh thank god, ok, phhewww.
I’m so hungry. Why am I always hungry? Is there an alien in my stomach?
OMG THE SNACK DRAW!!
ARRGG seminar seminar seminar!! 4 hours all at once I can’t do that. No, I can. I need to pack some of the snacks I haven’t eaten yet, or I’ll be so hungry. Why would you put my seminars over lunchtime?
Poetry… errr… daffodils? Oh, what do I like to write poems about? Err… stuff…
Romanticism, I Kant understand.. ahahha, so witty. Although, I really don’t get Kant, what is he going on about? And why can’t women feel the sublime (what ever that is)? What is with these old dudes, if we can push you out of our lady parts then we can bloody well do everything you can. God. Uni has turned me into such a feminist/equalitist.
There’s nothing like sitting in your kitchen for a few hours and not seeing any of your housemates…
I have a date later. I completely forgot. I have nothing to wear. why didn’t I do my laundry?!! Oh no… Quick, who can lend me something cute and not slutty?
Ok. I can do this. I can totally eat in front of someone I’ve met like three times. Why do I get so nervous over such normal things? Is this anxiety or is this how everyone feels?
First bite, oh wow that burger is so good. Do not go all Godzilla, just eat like a human girl.
And talk. Seriously stop eating for a minute and use your words.
He laughed. I made him laugh. YAY! Totally winning at this whole date thing.
You’ve read the same book as me? You liked it? No. I don’t believe you, that’s my favourite book. Tell me the plot and what bit you liked or you’re lying.
What do you mean you’re closing? We’re not done dating yet. I don’t want to go home.
Err… so we kiss now or… oh ok yes we do.
You’re so awesome marry me, wait, don’t say that. Just say goodbye, walk away and don’t look back, he doesn’t need to know that you’ve already planned to call the children after your favourite poets.
Mmmm… home, could so go to sleep right now… Hello? What do you mean you’re still at predrinks? Well, yes I am dressed… Yes in nice clothes and not joggers! Hmmm… ok, I’ll bring more vodka… roll on the weekend!