In response to Solitude

‘the state or situation of being alone’

I love my friends, I cherish the hours I spend with them, I love the memories we have and the ones we have yet to make.

But I’m prone to being alone, be under no illusion, I am not lonely, I just opt to do things by myself a lot of the time. Cinema to see a film that they’re going to need convincing to see? I’ll go alone, more popcorn. A band’s playing that they don’t like? Ok, see ya later. You want to go food shopping tomorrow? Sorry, I need mushrooms for tonight.

I just find it easier to do stuff on my own terms, no waiting about for others.

Of course, this has ended up spilling into my love life. I can’t be bothered to wait for the 18/19 year olds around me to mature enough to be worth putting the effort in now. I always figured that I’d meet the guy I’d want to marry at university and tie-the-knot in my early twenties. Now, I honestly can’t imagine getting involved with anyone seriously until I’m in my mid-twenties, with my life semi-sorted (job, flat, probably still no idea of who I am).

Maybe it’s all fuelled by my goal orientated impatience that sees me desperate to complete a task and move onto the next one, promising myself down-time but always finding myself searching for something to keep my busy.

Maybe I’m actually half cat and don’t like most people and just want to be fed. You never know.

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